Sure, you’re smart. But are you emotionally intelligent?
Emotional intelligence doesn’t come from a selected book or a rigorous education. Instead, it refers to how well you understand your own emotions also as those of others.
Even if you don’t know much about emotional intelligence, it’s easy to identify when someone doesn’t have it. as an example, someone who constantly blames people for his or her own problems is failing to know how to disrupt their negative emotions are.
Those without emotional intelligence often sabotage their own success also. They keep getting drawn back to the wringer of hysteria and stress, and this keeps them from making any real progress toward their goals.
All folks should strive to be more emotionally intelligent. to assist you out, we’ve prepared a guide for what to not do so you’ll further improve your emotional intelligence. Here are four things that emotionally intelligent people don’t do.
Criticizing people is extremely easy. In fact, it’s basically built into our attribute. But have you ever ever considered what drives our constant got to criticize?
There is basically a fine line when it involves criticism. for instance, constructive criticism is usually valuable — it’s how of letting those around you recognize what they will do to enhance themselves or their lives.
Other times, though, “criticism” is simply a codeword for tearing people down. And why would someone do that? Because they think tearing someone down may be a way of building themselves up.
Maybe you say (or simply think) another person is stupid because it causes you to feel smart. otherwise, you criticize their taste in fashion or decor because it causes you to feel good about your own aesthetic sense.
Emotionally intelligent people avoid doing this because they see what a sham it really is. razing another person will never actually build you up. Instead, you ought to specialize in improving your own life.
Worry about the longer term
Do you know anyone who comfortably lives within the “now” rather than constantly worrying about the future? altogether likelihood, that person is emotionally intelligent.
As with criticism, some concern over the long term is positive and even necessary. it might be foolish, for instance, if you never gave any thought to your retirement and took plans to form that retirement easier.
However, some people worry about the longer-term so regularly that it disrupts their lifestyle. this is often what those without emotional intelligence do: they put the cart before the horse!
The main reason anyone worries about the long term is because it’s completely uncertain. It’s easy to form the rookie mistake that constantly worrying about the long term helps you’re taking control of that uncertainty. actually, it causes you to worry such a lot about tomorrow that you simply can never enjoy the here and now.
What do emotionally intelligent people do instead? Simple: they accept that the longer term is uncertain and there’s only such a lot they will do to vary things. By doing what they will and letting the remainder go, these people free themselves from obsessing over tomorrow.
Obsess about the past
Of course, not everyone obsesses over tomorrow. quite a few people obsess instead of what happened within the past!
This is arguably the foremost common sign that somebody lacks emotional intelligence. it’s going to mean that you’re unable to sleep because you’re remembering a painful argument from years ago. Or you’re focused on how you’ll have said something different during a past conversation and completely changed your life.
As with criticism, some level of this will be constructive and positive. we will never learn from our mistakes unless we confront them, and confronting our mistakes is the key to non-public growth.
Those without emotional intelligence, however, worry about the past may be a chronic and toxic manner. Ironically, this obsession over the past is typical because the person wants an illusion of control in an uncertain world.
How do emotionally intelligent people view mistakes from the past? They understand that there’s nothing they will do to vary what has already happened.
By abandoning a negative obsession with the past, it’s possible to embrace the liberating possibilities of the longer term.
Live with unrealistic expectations
Those who lack emotional intelligence often drive their friends and even their relations away. Why? we will sum it up in two words: “unrealistic expectations.”
When you’re on the brink of someone, it’s natural that you simply want what’s best for them. Maybe you would like them to possess a high-profile job or the partner they deserve.
However, those without emotional intelligence go the additional mile and make unrealistic expectations for others. Maybe you think that your daughter deserves to be CEO fresh out of school, otherwise you think her boyfriend should be a millionaire.
This creates a feedback circuit where you’re disappointed that your loved ones aren’t meeting your unrealistic expectations. And when that happens, you finish up resenting them and pushing them away rather than helping them succeed.
At the top of the day, these sorts of unrealistic expectations are just a petty thanks to an attempt to control the lives of others. Emotionally intelligent people drop those expectations and easily accept their family and friends for who they’re.
Doing so will cause you to happier and healthier in your lifestyle. And quite that, it’ll cause you to into the type of person who your family and friends truly deserve!